My First Date........

One mistake we make when we are just getting to know someone is telling them all about our business, its so wrong.

You know that moment when you're out with a crush and you get talking about your dreams, visions and goals with the intention of getting to know each other better, be careful not to give out Information that should be personal to you alone.

Sometimes we open up too much and tell the other person about all the things we are looking out for in our ideal mate, giving the person the opportunity to mislead us by trying to fit into the qualities of the person we have told them we are looking out for, even when they are not, much to our own disavantage, because Pepsi and shawarmma in a restaurant with A.C will not allow us keep our big mouth shut. We just start talking and talking until we expose all the qualities we are looking for in a partner, and they start play acting.

Let me ask you a question, what is the need of an assessment if the candidate already has the answers to all the questions?

What else do you want to assess if the bro or sis already knows what your taste and speck is? They already have your marking scheme, and the funny thing is you gave it to them in the name of getting to know each other.

If he already knows you are crazy about a brother that takes church seriously, any time you call he will say he is in church, or he just left prayer meeting or that he is escorting his pastor to a missionary journey. Its easy for him to say because he already knows the kind of things you want to hear. You handed him the marking scheme, he didn't even have to work for It, just one bottle of coke and he got to know you even more than he got to tell you about himself. Can you now see why relationships don't last? Because people start pretending to be what and who you have told them you're looking out for, and it doesn't do you any favour at all.

Learn to talk less when you're out on a date with a potential someone, learn to keep your mouth shut.

He doesn't like being in a relationship without sex, but because you told him you don't date guys who want to have sex before marriage he will tell you since he was born he has never liked sex too, just to get you impressed. Then three months after his endurance he will start touching you and demanding for sex, leaving you wondering why he changed. Yes he changed, he changed into something you want him to be in other to win your heart, now he is changing back Into his original self.

I am talking to both sexes here, not the men alone. Have some sense guys, learn to walk in wisdom. She knows you don't like demanding women so she plays along, three months later you start hearing "my hair is due".

Walk in wisdom. Know what to say. And in case you're asking what to discus on the first few 'getting to know you' dates I will leave some tips.

1.
Talk about the petty things that you can discuss with anyone: names, pet names, favourite things, hobbies, books, music, movies, mentors, and other mushy things that doesn't entails giving up private information...

2.
Talk about future things: who you want to be. What you're working towards, goals, vision in life, and other very important things that DEFINES your values as a person.

It is important that they know you're not the type that wants to hang around a drawback or one that wants to get stuff in a bottleneck relationship.

3.
Talk about your faith: go spiritual on them. You don't even need to spell it out to a person that you are a believer and you walk in the Spirit before they get it.

I call this the switch-system; here is when you switch from a nice maybe romantic or somehow carnal discussion to one spiritual matter that does not concern the present topic of discussion.

For instance, if you're talking about your favourite movies and he's describing his love for titanic, how Jack died to save Rose , just interrupt and ask him what he thinks about the movie War Room! switch quickly! The question does not concern Titanic but it takes his attention back to the fact you are not soo comfy about the physical.

So Talk about faith, let the person understand clearly what you stand for.

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