1.2 billion Naira Art works

Njideka Akunyili Crosby, one of the daughters of late Dora Akunyili, has sold one of her numerous artworks for N1.2 billion ($3.4 million).

In a report by Wall Street Journal, Njideka's highest selling artwork at the moment is a 2017 botanical piece named 'Bush Babies.'

According to the report, New York based art company dealer, Sotheby’s estimated that the "Bush Babies," would sell for up to $800,000 but ended up selling for $3.4 million.

The "Bush Babies" artwork was sold during an auction at the Christie's in London, United Kingdom.

The artist, who once sold artworks for  $3,000 apiece has joined the leagues of top-flight artist in United States of America and United Kingdom.

It was Njideka also reported that least 20 public museums are on a waiting list for works which Njideka hasn’t painted yet.

Njideka Akunyili Crosby's laurel list

At 35 years old, this artist from Eastern Nigeria, has since been awarded the prestigious MacArthur Fellowship.

The MacArthur Fellowship, also referred to as the Genius Grant, awards $625,000 to artists, writers, teachers, scientists, entrepreneurs, and people from all works of life who have shown exceptional creativity.

The grant is doled out in instalments, made over a period of five years.

Aside the grant, Njideka has also been decorated with honours for her artworks by the New York’s Whitney Museum of American Art and London’s Tate Modern have come calling.

So you are still reading & doubting if your own potential can earn you this much.  No success is built in a year, is a gradual process.

My Story

My story, It’s a difficult one to tell …. I’m still living through it and haven’t turned the page of this chapter in my life just yet.

Due to the length of this story , I will give a summary of my life over the past 12 years and explore elements of my past further with each new post , as we take the journey in unfolding emotional abuse.
I am currently in the midst of finding healing from the loss of a traumatic 12 year long relationship , which ended abruptly 6 weeks ago when my ex-partner called our upcoming wedding off after a 4 year long engagement.
I can hear the words he said to me clearly in my head. You are not mature enough to be my wife nor to have my children , and one of us needs to be the mature one to say this’

"You are not mature enough to be my wife nor to have my children , and one of us needs to be the mature one to say this’

I remember the feeling of dark clouds settling in my mind as he sneered at me. I asked, with my heart pounding at around 150 beats a minute‘ What does that mean ? Is the wedding off ?’ He confidently replied ‘ YES’.
My world fell apart ‘Did I upset him today?’ , ‘Did I say the wrong thing?’ , ‘What have I done wrong now ?’ These questions ran on repeat in a never ending loop in my mind over the past 12 years.I could never figure it out.

" ‘Did I upset him today?’ , ‘Did I say the wrong thing?’ , ‘What have I done wrong now ?’

This was our destination wedding , planned for over 4 years . All my family , both in my home country and abroad had spent thousands to attend ….. his family had yet to purchase flights nor book their hotels.
I had spent thousands for every element of the wedding. wedding dresses , reception décor , venue reservation , flights , honeymoon … and more. He barely contributed triple figures….. How could I not have known,

" How could I not have known…

So…. I know what you are thinking …. ‘What did you do to cause this ?’ , ‘He must have had cold feet?’ , ‘Did you pressure him into this?’
He cancelled our engagement , because ‘I needed to adjust my attitude’, and that I hadn’t supported him the way he wanted me to after the death of a close relative. I even got accused of ‘not hugging him in a considerate way. whatever that means.
I offered counselling. anything to find out ‘What was wrong with me?’. He responded by telling his family ‘The wedding has been cancelled due to her behaviour’ yet he told my family that I had been the one to cancel our wedding. I didn’t know he had done that … my guests remained none the wiser .
I distinctly remember my heart fading to black when he confirmed what he had told our families. I made him aware that I had not yet informed my guests of the cancellation of our engagement and wedding He retorted sternly ‘ You thought I was joking’

Immediately following this conversation , in a bid to avoid showing any emotion (in fear of his admonition) , I sat on my balcony in absolute awe …. I went to bed alone that night … unknowingly awaiting his fury.
He greeted me with fierce reprimands ..’ You are so selfish , you didn’t even think to hug me , instead you nursed your feelings about the wedding rather than take care of me, you didn’t even think to cover me with a blanket whilst I slept on the sofa’. The beratement continued for several hours , as I sat silently , numb from the verbal lashings I had grown accustomed to for several years.

" you are selfish..

Fast forward to now , I have left the home I had done everything to purchase (as he was recently facing losing his place of residence) after being told to ‘move out if I didn’t return home by the end of a particular date’. I returned 3 weeks later to my belongings , taken out of my own furniture , and placed in garbage bags …. he had moved me out of the home that owned together…
You see … It took all this for me to reflect on the past 12 years … For 12 years I have been repeatedly invalidated , shouted at , been witness to his frustrations and resulting physical assault of walls and furniture , been told I wasn’t good enough , had false allegations made against me , been cheated on , been made to take a lie detector test (for unfounded accusations) and the most painful of all … loved one day and treated like an enemy the next.
I could do nothing right , and I was always the cause of his dissatisfaction ; he made that abundantly clear as often as he could.

This was the last straw...

"loved one day and treated like an enemy the next.

  " he trained me to think this way..

I have written this as a means of an outlet , and as a source of healing , by unravelling the confusion in my mind and to learn to validate MYSELF…. to give myself a voice and to hopefully show others that they are not alone. I am by no means a writer …so I apologise for my inaccuracies , but every word comes from my heart , and I hope you are able to see me , as I learn to SEE MYSELF.

Hmm..... Emotional Abuse....

Wickedness....

When the relationship is not working out, but you love them too much to let go, you keep encouraging yourself to stay and fight to make things work, believing they're doing the same for the relationship too, only to realize at the point where you are almost loosing yourself that the other person already let go while you were still holding on fighting. It hurts so much.

But why do people do that? They just stay silent and lead you on when they know they are no longer interested in the relationship. When things get boring for you, when you have lost every atom of love you have for that person, why is it difficult to just let them know? Why?

You know they are fighting to save what's left of the relationship, but you just sit there watching them give all they can to save what is already lost. You see them trying to win your affection. You see them calling, and texting, doing all they can to save the relationship from dying, but you are standing back, letting them fight alone, because you already left the ring a long time ago.

That is just wickedness.

Worse part is that you have moved on, having fun hooking up with other people, while your partner is just there, counting on you, believing in you, hoping everyday that things will go back to the way it used to be. It's wickedness.

A relationship I gave my all, thank God I hold back on my dearie Mom words! Never surrender totally to a woman, you are yet to call your wife. It helps on the day of sudden relationship adversity.
She left the relationship 5months ago & never declare it, so heartless. Only to be seeing you missing in the plan.

I know that sometimes it's difficult to let it out. Most times it's hard to open up to your partner about your feelings because you don't want people to talk about how you broke a heart, or because you are not sure how your partner will take the news. But hey, they deserve to know the truth that hurts, not the lie that deceives. Stop putting up some annoying atitude in an attempt to get your partner tired of the relationship. We do this alot, we just withdraw and wait for the other person to start talking about "the relationship is not working, let's take a break." When you know you stoped working on the relationship a long time ago.

Wickedness is not a fruit of the Spirit. If you have already let go in your heart, don't leave them hanging on to nothing, your partner deserves to do the same.

It leaves Most people with Heart of Hatred, never to trust anymore.

Pre-Wedding Night...

Hello funky believer, please can i talk to you for a minute?

Listen, I know that pre-wedding photos and bridal showers are awesome, I know it creates good memories for the couples and helps them bond intimately. I know how exciting it is to dress up in matching outfits with your spouse to-be and just have fun creating lasting memories with amazing photos and night parties with your gang. It is totally cool, but I just hope you also understand that as believers things are always a lot different for us, we don't just rush into a trend because everybody else is doing it, or because it is cool, what comes first is how much that fashion or trend adds to our christian life, i mean, how spiritually relevant is it to our love walk with God?

Please forgive me if I am sounding like a killjoy, but rather than surround yourself with friends who will dress up in white outfits and take photos with you in a hotel room to post on social media, why don't you keep a small circle of fire-branded friends that can join you in a pre-wedding prayer and fasting retreat, and still stick around to pray for your marriage whenever you need them?

Rather than going out on a bachelor's night party with a gang of friends who will tease you all night about how you'll be getting stuck with one woman for the rest of your life, why don't you have a bachelor's vigil with friends who's prayers and personal walk with God you can trust?

Hope you don't think I am trying to kill all the fun you have been dreaming to have, all I want you to see is how we can turn these exciting worldly interests into our spiritual advantage. When our friends are doing bridal showers, we can do bridal fasting and still have fun. When others are doing bachelor's night, let's do bachelor's vigil instead, is anybody catching this?

Start building up an army of friends you will need on that marriage journey, not the ones that don't have the spiritual capacity to go with you beyond the I DO. Start choosing your WAR FRIENDS carefully, start gathering spiritual guarantors who can stand in the gap for you in the place of prayer.

I encourage everyone to add this to their wedding plans, schedule a pre-wedding prayer retreat with fasting and tarry if your strength can carry, the pre-wedding photos and bridal showers can come later, but first, plan a retreat with your church, or a personal retreat at home with a few close friends whose prayers you can rely on anytime. This is a long term spiritual investment, this is what Sustains the marriage long after the swagger of the bridal showers and bachelor parties has expired, I wish alot of us can learn this.. And if you don't have a few good friends whose prayers you can rely on, then I beg you to start building one now.

"The most important pre-wedding exercise is not the beautification of your wedding, BUT the edification of your marriage.

Hope this speaks to somebody, we are the chosen generation God will boast about!

Boredom in Marriage.....

Some months ago a friend of mine came to me troubled about his relationship. He wanted to propose to a lady he has been dating for more than a year but he was a bit concern about the fact that she doesn't have a lot of swagger, not as much as he would love his woman to have.

That night he said to me;

Maria only goes to work in the morning, church in the evening, then heads back home. That is her daily routine.

She doesn't wear trousers, only long skirts and blouse every day. She ties her hair all the time , and never looks interested in hanging out or honouring party invitations we get invited to.

Her favourite spot is her church headquarters, she loves attending conventions more than anything in the world. I mean she has a boring social life. Each time I try to light her up she just prefers to stay in and mind her business.

I laughed my heart out that night at the eatery because I could totally relate to how frustrating that can be.

It's been three months after their beautiful wedding. And guess what?

Today his wife Maria makes all the restaurant reservations, buys them movie tickets and take him out for some karaoke, with her own money. She orders him pizza and smoothie at work. He said one time he got out of the office to find her waiting outside with an Uber to drive him home. And oh yea! she now wears not only jeans trousers, but leggings, pantyhose and bumbshots around the house as well. Last time he called to say he never saw it coming, how a calm-churchy single lady can turn out to be a wife with so much swagger, much more than he could ever bargain for.

Some aunties are just like that. Like Maria. Cover their hair all the time, all dressed in long long gowns anytime you see them. Will take a miracle to get them to attend a party, no trousers, some of them no makeup, their daily routine is just work-church-home-kitchen-sleep. Judging from how they are you would think marrying them will land you in a lifetime of boredom. But naaa, you have no idea how much swagger they are covering inside, just waiting for the right moment and the right man to come in and roll away the stone and unleash the excitement they have been saving up.

Dear uncle, please do not hold back if you're dating to marry one of these warm and reserved aunties. That was exactly what I told my friend that night. Don't let that push you away. Some are just waiting TO DO in marriage, with the right man. Be patient enough to stay and enjoy all she's been saving up for you. And such woman when they unleash, hmmmm, it will be more than you can handle.

Some aunties are just not ready to give permanent husband benefits to temporary boyfriends.

Propose A Relationship...

It's so important that I share this with my family, mean you;

When you are praying and believing God for the right person to marry and the Lord reveals someone to you with the revelation of a dream, a vision, or a prophecy from a member of your family or a minister you trust with the Word, do not be quick to approach that person for a relationship or marriage immediately after the revelation comes, please do not be quick.

Sometimes these dreams or visions or prophecies are so crystal clear that the name of the person is mentioned without error. Most times in these dreams the face of your spouse to be are usually recognized. It could be a friend, a collegue, a mentee, or even a single sister in a church that you are pastoring and mentoring. You see the face so clear and you're convinced that your answer has come, and with that conviction you move straight to that person with all spiritual and physical boldness to confess your love for them and propose a relationship.

That's not how's it's done dear vision-recieving brethren.

When these revelations come, do not be quick to make the obvious relationship and marriage move. Rather, let your move be towards starting a good friendship with the person if you are not already good friends, or strengthening your friendship if you are already close friends before God pointed them out as the one.

Get to know the visionee. God is not leading you out to go marry a stranger or someone you know nothing about. Sometime the vision can be true but the timing of your approach can be very wrong. And when you approach a right vision at the wrong time you might not experience the evidence of God's leading.

God might be showing you someone for you to get to know first, not to go rush and marry.

God might be saying there are the one but they are not ready for you yet because they are distracted by someone or something else. Because they have an addiction you need to know about and help them overcome. Because they are currently in a relationship that they believe strongly is heading towards marriage but it's not. Because they are also single but you cannot start a relationship with them right now, she will frustrate your love efforts, he will not reciprocate your committment, because they are not ready for love yet.

Sometimes God shows you someone who needs to heal first before committing to you.

And when we move hastily basking in that conviction, we end up getting frustrated along the way when that person's attitude is not in sync with the conviction God gave You, so doubt sets in.

Get to know the person first brethren. Most times God is not showing you the vision to go and start taking prewedding pictures, God might be asking you to go and wash them up first, before presenting them to yourself without stain or wrinkles. And there isn't a better way to do that than friendship.

Thanks.. 

Why Localize???

Quickly, please get in here dear uncles who are Godly husbands in the making.

I believe it's time we learn this simple love hack, it's so sad to see married couples stressing out their marriages everyday trying to deal with their partner the hard way when they can apply a little bit of wisdom to get results. Heaven wants no more stressed out marriages, I need you to start practicing this in your relationship like right now and get used to it...

If you want your partner to change something you do not like about her; I'm talking about physical things like the way she dresses so chaff, or the outdated grandma hair styles she loves to carry, or her terrible taste in shoes, or her untrendy choice of handbags, or that flashy wristwatch she wears without batteries etc...
The best way you can get a woman to change her style is not to vocalize it by complaining about it every now and then, the best way to get her to change her style is to ACT it.

Don't complain about it. Don't nag. Don't say "everytime you are always wearing this ugly shoes, I don't like it, don't you have another one?" if you don't like the shoes she's always wearing, get her a new one and replace it. It's the easier way.

Don't localize, ACT. You noticed she's been wearing a wristwatch that isn't working? Instead of complaining about it how about you ask if you can take it to someone who can fix it, or get her a new one?

The replacement method works better. Make suggestions, say;

"Sweetheart, can I get you a new handbag so that you can stop carrying this old one?"

If you don't like her hairstyles, browse some very nice hairstyles and send to her, suggesting she tries one the next time she goes to the salon. If you can, offer to pay for it.

And this applies to aunties too. Most men have favourite things. A brother can wear a pair of shoes the whole year, not like he cannot afford a new one, we just have this thing sometimes, if we don't wear it to the point of no return we won't get a new one.
Don't nag at him to change his shoes, ACT it. Get him a new pair, offer to chip in for a new one. A new pair from you is always different from all the new pairs he has at home, its special, he will wear it.

Localizing too much makes your partner insecure. They'll start feeling uncomfortable around you. If you keep complaining about her makeup she'll never be herself wearing lipstick around you.
If you keep complaining about her shoes she will begin to feel she's not good enough for you, and that is a level of insecurity you do not want in your relationship.

Learn to act it. Vocalize in your heart, save up and replace.

The best part about this is that when your partner starts getting a hint of the kind of things you like from the stuff you get for her, she'll start living up to it, buying things for herself that suits your style.

Thanks....

Unbeliever is Nothing..

Sometimes it not very easy for me to teach these things, it is not very easy for me to teach that God does not want us to yoke with unbelievers in marriage, folks who have no relationship with Him. Most times it sounds like we are making it up, but honestly we ain't.

God has showed us a million times all over scriptures why we should stick to our kind when making a marriage decision. Let me show you one more tonight, one powerful instance where God Himself couldn't compromise on His own word, even though in His heart He wanted to.

It's in Luke 16:19, the amazing story of our friends Lazarus and the rich man. In a second let me show you one of God's strongest standards in that story that you might not have seen before....

I will read briefly from verse 22:

“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us."

Who else can see this with me?

The rich man was asking permission from Abraham for Lazarus to dip his finger in water and let the drop quench his taste, but Abraham denied him. Not because he wasn't interested or willing to help his torment, he couldn't give his permission because a great wall separates their fellowship.

Abraham said "besides the fact that you didn't live a good life on earth, even if I want to help you now I can't, because it is forbidden for anyone, or ANYTHING, or any CONVENANT to cross from where we are to where you are."

The rich man didn't want Lazarus to come meet him in his place of torment with water, that would have been a big ask. All he wanted was for Lazarus to dip his hand in water right where he is and direct the drops to fall in his mouth, still Abraham said no. Meaning nothing can cross over to that side, not man, not water, not marriage, nothing.

If God feels this way about the sharing of water drops between light and darkness, imagine how He feels when we cross over with our spirit, soul and body to yoke with an unbeliever in marriage?

Don't get me wrong, God is not asking us to despise or run away from our unbelieving friends who have no relationship with Him. In fact He wants us to love and pray for them. Even more He wants us to win them over to our side by our words and actions. Abraham and Lazarus could chat with the rich man from where they are, there was no barrier in communication, they chatted like they were in the same location, but when it came to sharing a fellowship, Abraham quickly reminded them of the standard. No one can cross over to that side, he said.

I want you to think about this the next time you start finding darkness attractive. The next time you start thinking about tuning down your light to fit into the darkness of someone you are eager to marry. I want you to think about this carefully. It is not because we like to teach it, but because it is God's truth. Love everyone equally, win them over by the light of Christ shining through you, but marry your own kind, that is God's will for our marriage, that we are not nequally yoked.

God wants to you to share more than a drop of water with your spouse, He has given you the whole ocean, even more, He wants you to enjoy living water overflowing in your marriage, but fortunately, He doesn't work in darkness,

"let there be Light." He said.

After Church Service.....

After church on Sunday it was announced that all the men should wait behind to pray for 30 minutes, both the singles and the married men. Half way through the session I noticed a lady joined us, praying like crazy and speaking in tongues everywhere.

Okay, to be honest, I got distracted there for a bit. She was the only lady praying amongst us, and she wasn't wearing a wedding ring, indicating she was a single lady. After the prayers my curiosity as usual, because somewhere between my own prayers I was asking God if she was praying for her husband or standing in the cap for a brother. So stubborn me, I wasn't willing to let it go. I spotted her leaving and went to say hello.

Another problem was asking, how do I ask her politely why she waited to join the men's prayer meeting without sounding very awkward. Right there an idea hit me.

So I said, "Hello, excuse me good afternoon. I saw you praying with the men and I thought I should come over and thank you for standing with the men in prayer."

Trust me that was the only polite way I could think of asking.

Then she hit me with a delicious bomb, she said, "yea, I was standing in the gap for my boyfriend, kinda long distance relationship, but you can say that I'm standing with the men in prayer."

My heart sank like awwwnnnn, so nice, the only thing I could say was "thank you on his behalf."

Hmmmm, I just want to challenge somebody reading this right now, the only place God can recognise you is in the place of prayer. The only time God recognises your love bond is when you are standing in the gap for your partner, or standing in the gap together.

Dear aunty of life, start praying for that man now, forget about marriage, praying for him as a single man will make praying for him as a married man easier. Develope the habit of standing in, practice carrying some of his weight on your own shoulders. Intentionally tell him to give you one of his prayer points to pray about, let him start feeling the miracles happening in his life as a result of your prayers.

Give him testimonies, testimonies inspired by you. Let him boost to his friends and say;

"I got the job because my babe and I prayed."
"I felt the headache disappearing when my girl layed hands on me, so each time I feel a headache I just run to her."

Uncles I'm talking to you too. How about hearing your boo boasting about you to her friends in the saloon?

"Alex, is my priest, He talks to God on my behalf because God listens to him."
"I got the admission after Daniel and I fasted."

Start building your partner's confidence in your prayers. Talk to God about your partner so much that anytime you walk into His presence He will be like "ehennn? what do you want me to do for Andrew again?"

Don't wait to practice in marriage, start with your relationship now!

Don't wait until a man comes, start building that familiarity with God before he comes with his coconut head.

I feel like am talking to someone out here reading this in bed, it is you?

Happy New Month.... wow.. wow

I just want to fall into prophetic ministry:

Whatever gathering declaring against your sucess loose there unity in Jesus name.

When you stand, you shall be recognized for favor,  when you knock hundreds will open unto you, when you call millions shall obey your commands, the ability to dig out your potential for wealth shall bestow you in Jesus name.

Ancient authorities ruling in your family loose value in Jesus name.  Destiny achievement no human in your blood line had ever accomplishe, you will attain it with ease in Jesus name.

I decree peace over ur worries, over ur night cries, over ur relationship, over ur marriage, over ur business, over ur career. Jesus will remember you, God will everly Choose to favor you. Struggling lost it grieve over you & you will not dissapoint Jesus Christ, you won't miss it, you won't get carried away, through out your days on earth it shall be glorious. In Jesus mighty name.... Amen!!!!!

Happy New month & welcome to your reign of express.......

Nice Guys Aren’t Always Good Men

To every heartbroken girl, every crushed lady, every disappointed woman, every deceived and manipulated girl, every pure and good-hearted woman who believed too much,
there’s a big difference between a nice guy and a good man.
It sounds the same, but the reality is – there’s an exceptional difference between these two.
I once was exactly where you are now . I let myself be fooled by a nice guy in the disguise of a real, good man. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

So, that is why it is essential for me to explain to you the main difference between those two. I want to use my experience to help you avoid these people.

A nice guy is charming, irresistible, insatiable. He will tell you everything you want to hear. And he won’t hesitate to lie to you when it feels convenient to him. Especially when there’s something ugly that he desperately wants to hide.
But, a good man will always speak the truth. He won’t be afraid to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth because he genuinely believes that integrity and honesty are more important than comfort. Those are values that last forever.

It is simple.
A nice guy is afraid of being rejected and he does everything in his power to gain validation, while a good man knows exactly how much he’s worth and doesn’t give a damn whether he’s rejected or accepted.

A nice guy will seem like a nice guy until he reveals his real intentions and tries to change who you are. He will try to modify your personality and mold you into a person he can see himself with. A good man , on the other hand, will not only respect your individuality but he will also love you for your wild peculiarity.

A nice guy will miss your calls and avoid your messages, but a good man will come at your door in the middle of the night and surprise you with a pizza and two bottles of beer.

A nice guy will treat you like a girl of convenience. He will show you just a little to get you hooked and then he’ll disappear when you least expect it, knowing that you’ll always be there waiting for him.

But, a good man… Oh, a good man will never leave you hanging, not knowing what’s going on between you two. He will make sure to let you know what’s in his heart. He’ll devote himself to you. He’ll open the gates of his world to you. He’ll welcome you to stay forever.

A nice guy won’t apologize when he’s wrong. He won’t take responsibility for his actions. Instead, he’ll find it easier to put the blame on someone else. A good man , on the other hand, admits his mistakes. He knows when he’s wrong and he knows just what to do to make things right again.
A nice guy will get you laid, but a good man will love you forever.

A nice guy is accustomed to an easy life. He won’t bother to work hard and struggle when he has a shortcut. That is why he’ll usually pick the easier way out. No muss, no fuss.

But, a good man, he will be 100% committed to his self-growth and his development. He will finish the work because it is the only way to ever achieve his goals. A good man knows that in life, there are no shortcuts.

More importantly, a good man won’t be concerned with labels and etiquettes like the nice guy. He will care about values.
So, please, learn the difference between these two, don’t settle for less than you deserve, and don’t you ever let them trick you!

Nice guys aren’t always good men!

Marriage Is Never Easy

My name is Sophia and I have been married for the past 9 yrs, I’m blessed with 3 kids (2 boys and a girl) and I have the most amazing hubby. I’m trying to correct the notion that all marriages are wacky, which is not true.

It wouldn’t be nice if some single girls out there don’t get to know that marriages can work if you make it happen.

I got married 9yrs ago to my hubby, we dated for a year and got married. My friends were like it was too soon since we barely know our selves, I was staying in Abuja while him in Lagos, I just come occasionally to visit him, so after a year, we figured it was time to move to the next level which was very amazing.
We got married and I started living the life of a married woman.

We loved each other so much but there were things we did not know about each other since it was long distance hence posed a problem for us. I had very bad mouth as of that time. I do like to challenge everyone including him which he didn’t like.

We argued a lot which ends up with several beatings.

The first time my hubby hit me, I ran to my aunt’s place and later went back home, it happened again and again, but the whole thing was after the beatings, he comes back to say sorry and to tell me how the things I said to him really did hurt and how he’s hot tempered and I’m hot tempered and all.

After a year, I told myself I had to work on myself, I stopped talking too much, prayed more often and asked God to help me with my temper, I stopped challenging him and always make him feel more than superior to me, like magic, the whole fighting stopped.

I took in and gave birth to our twin boys the second year. I was so engrossed with taking care of the babies that I forgot to give my hubby the attention he deserved. When my babies were 5 month old, I went through my hubby’s phone for the first time and I found out he was cheating on me.
The girl in question was supposed to be a family friend but she started sleeping with my husband.
I went through the whole bbm chat and saw the way the girl started flirting with my hubby and how he tried to resist and how he finally fell for her tricks, I was mad, I was raged but at the same time I was determined to be calm about the whole thing. I didn’t mention it to him when he came to pick up his phone cause I would have insulted him and said so many hurtful things to him, so I pretended like I saw nothing.

The next day, I started jogging with some neighbours, but after 2weeks I got a treadmill and started using at home. I was still running in the morning and using the treadmill at night.
After 3 months, I lost the whole baby fat coming back to 60kg which was my initial weight. I didn’t give up,I kept trying to look fit and everything.

One night, my hubby came to me saying we needed to talk, I was like hope there is no problem? He said there is! And I was like let me hear it. He then opened up to me about his affairs with that girl. He told me everything that happened, even went ahead to show me the whole chat and how he ended it with the girl and how she’s still calling back and begging for more.

Of course she was going to beg for more, my hubby is well endowed and gifted (Lol).

He was crying and apologising but I told him he shouldn’t worry, that it was all my fault, I forgot about him and he saw attention some where else. We made up and after 2 days, he got me a car out of guilt but I told him to stop worrying but I still liked the fact that he got me the car, it was my dream car.
We started enjoying our lives the way it was before, going to the movies, club, hanging out, I gave him all my attention.

Even after I gave birth to my baby girl 3 years later, he didn’t cheat on me because I made sure I didn’t stop been a mother, a wife, lover and friend. As usual, I started exercising again and went back to my body 4months after my baby was born. We were so blessed, work was going fine, home was fine.
Now when I say “Home was fine” it didn’t mean we were not quarreling, we were but I just made sure if I was going to quarrel about anything, it was going to be something worth it and I tried as much as possible not to be harsh or rude.

There was a time we quarreled and couldn’t reconcile immediately like usual and I went out to tell a male friend of mine not knowing that was the last thing I should be doing.
The guy was advising me and I felt he was nice. One day, the same talk came up between me and my hubby, when we couldn’t reconcile, I drove of to that guy’s house.

He consoled me and started kissing me. I was kissing him back and it suddenly dawned on me, he’s not my husband, I couldn’t do that to my hubby, I pushed him off and drove back home.

Told my hubby he won and told him how I kissed someone else and he told me he understands, so we’d drop the case even if I was right, deleted the guy as a friend and worked on my marriage.
Since then, we don’t stay mad at each other more than 10mins. My friends come to the house and they are like, I envy your marriage, that we still act as newlyweds and all, but what they don’t know is it not easy getting your family together.

Its’ so hard to be a friend, lover, best friend, mistress, mother, wife, sister all in one. I’m from a broken home so I know what I and my sister went through and I didn’t want that for my kids.
So I had to fight to make my home work. I got married when I was 18 and right now 27, but when you see me, I look 24, people never believe I’m 27 or a mother because I made sure I kept my self-looking good.

My hubby doesn’t like the whole idea of wrapper or anything so I don’t have one except for meetings. I dress in my bum shorts, miniskirts, short dresses, anything to keep me looking good.

So at this point I’m going to say, ladies:

1. Marriage is not easy
2. Don’t go into marriage expecting so much.
3. Don’t think your marriage would not have problems, they will always have, what makes you a woman is the ability to handle it
4. Make your partner your friend, best friend, lover, wife, mistress, mother, sister, with that, he can open up to you all the time.
5. Never lose yourself because you are married, he loved what he saw that’s why he married you, try not to go away from that.
6. Never share your problems with anyone, you would get the wrong advice from people, handle your problems within.
7. Do not argue with your hubby, let him win if you see it’s gonna pose as a problem.
8. For those with sharp mouth, trim it, that’s the one thing men hate. It took me time to learn, so please and please, never challenge your hubby, because it would make him feel he’s not in control and men like feeling they are in control even when actually, its the women who are in control.
9. Talk to him all the time, appreciate anything he does and encourage him.
10. Don’t forget to make God your number one. Don’t joke with prayer, it never fails.

Thank You

My Underwear Went Off

a true story and a testimony from a young lady.

she has shared her story so that others maybe saved. PLZ READ

I used to be that innocent girl who had the world at her feet. I was beautiful and I had eyes and hips that could make men sway, and to top it all up, I was a Christian, a very good Christian with a heart burning for God.

When I entered the university, I met a guy, his name was Derrick. I couldn’t believe my luck the first time I bumped into him on my way to class, he had such a kind smile and a tender look that weakened my knees when he spoke.
Because I was late for class we couldn’t talk much but barely three weeks later, I met him at the fresher’s night party and I was overwhelmed.

We got talking and I found out that he was in his second year and from that night, we became an inseparable pair.
At first, we were friends and as months passed by, we got closer and closer and the chemistry between us was undeniable.
About a year after I entered the university, Derrick and I started dating.

He was everything a girl could ever want and desire save the fact that he wasn’t so much of a Christian. Derrick had magical hands that made him hard to resist and most times I fell for it. At first, I felt bad but when I couldn’t help falling into the same pit I killed the guilt on my inside.

And then one day, one of my friends said I was getting fatter and that got me thinking and in the process I began to link the dots…first I had a vomiting spree every morning which I thought was due to a flu and then I had this morning sickness which I felt was due to stress and then my missing period…

oh no it can’t be possible I said to myself, I couldn’t be pregnant!!!

After a series of test outside school, I realized the deadliest truth, I was indeed pregnant. I was only nineteen, I still had a whole life ahead of me, what was I going to do. I couldn’t tell my parents, they wouldn’t hear of it. I had to go to Derrick to tell him what I had found out.
On telling him, I saw him fly into a temper I had never seen in my life. He was so hysterical, calling me all sorts of names and I didn’t even know when I started crying heart drenching tears of hurt and betrayal.

When he looked into my eyes he must have realized how scared and hurt I was and so he pulled me close and ran his hands through my hair until I had calmed down and then he said tome in the most subtle voice ever

”why don’t you have an abortion”.

I pulled back instantly, I couldn’t have an abortion! But when he talked about my parents and the sanctioning of the school and the fellowship which I belonged to, I knew I had no other choice.

Derrick had made all the arrangements and so on the supposed day we went to the room- like clinic. I shivered all through my way there but Derrick kept telling me that it would be okay and that he was proud that I made such a brave decision.

When I entered into the room where the abortion was supposed to take place I laid down on the table trying to dissociate my mind from what I was about to do and then a young man told me sternly, ” you know I can’t perform this procedure with your underwear on” and then I began to pull it off.

As I did this a sense of guilt overwhelmed me,

first I had pulled off my underwear of pleasure and now I was pulling it off to get rid of the stigma the pleasure had brought…

what a shame, I felt so exposed.
All through the times that I felt instruments coming in and out of me, I kept thinking of the lady I had become and the hypocrite I had transformed into.

I let out a sigh, only if I can get through this I muttered… only if…and then I felt a sharp pain pierce through the whole of my body, I screamed but then the doctor told me to be quiet.

I felt another pain but this time I bit my lip and then the pain began to come in successions. I instinctively knew that something was wrong but I was too weak to talk or to move and then I heard the voices of Derrick and the doctor talking about the fact that I was bleeding excessively. The pain was so unbearable and I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker.

With the last strength in me, I pleaded with God
”Oh Lord I’m so sorry for taking my under wears off, please forgive me.”

and I drifted into a world where the pain seemed less hurtful and the voices seemed more distant.

I could felt death Taking my soul into Hell.

ROM 12:1, Friends, our bodies are the temple of the Lord… Do not take off your underwear when the time is not right.

Lots of girls who gained admission into the university as virgins eventually lost it so cheaply to guys who have nothing to do with their destinies.

In a bid to get a certificate, they sold out a destiny that certificate cannot guarantee. Sex before marriage is a sin and let us learn to hate what God hates.

I have walked the road and l am warning you not to take that path but to follow the path of the Lord Jesus.

If You are going through this or felt to discuss Your pains in past or presence with Anyone, You can confide in @Olalekan WhatsApp/Call me 08066519426. No condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Fight it & Stop Giving Up

Sometimes God permits a storm to rise in your courtship/dating relationship, so that He can see how you are going to fight in your marriage.

Some battles are just marriage crises rehearsals.

Some quarrels are just peace keeping practice.

Some malice are only an exercise of your forgiveness habits.

Some hasty conclusions are God's way of saying "look, let Me see how you are going to talk about this. Let me see your ability listen."

He wants to see how you handle the little things that can break, so that He can trust you with bigger things that are unbreakable.

He wants to see how you respond when you have the option of walking away, so that He can entrust you with an inseparable covenant assignment.

Sometimes God will use the things, and the situations you hate the most, to teach you how to fight for the things you love the most.

The test might not even be meant to test your strength and tolerance with the one you are in relationship with, but to sharpen your habits for the marriage He is taking you Into. Keep Fighting to show yourself approved to God.

Get this right, if You can't fight to fit in then God Will never make that man/woman to be yours. 
Many step out of there greatness into there cradle, just because the greatness need some home work to be doné. Fight it & stop giving up, You could be close.

Glory to God for the one who needs this today.

Who exactly is to blame in Acrimony?

The question is: Who exactly is to blame in Acrimony? Melinda? Robert? Melinda's family?

The psychological thriller tells the story of
Melinda Moore, a faithful and hardworking wife who supports her husband, Robert, an engineer and dreamer pushing a launch of his invention. However, their marriage ends just before he hits it big with the rechargeable battery he spent decades inventing.

Just in case you haven't seen the movie, here are 10 things you should know before joining the conversation

1. Before their wedding, Melinda had caught Robert cheating on her with a random girl,
Diana Wells. Enraged, she drives her car into their trailer. The accident leads to a hysterectomy.

2. He apologizes and despite her sisters' objections, she forgives him and they get married. Years later, Melinda works to support them, as Robert being a felon, is unable to find work. Robert convinces Melinda to mortgage the house so he can build a new prototype for his battery.

3. 20 years later, Diana is back in the picture and is working for Prescott, an investor. So she arranges a meeting between Robert and Prescott.

4. Robert is offered $800,000 to sell his work, but he wants to license the technology to them instead, so the deal doesn't go through.

5. Meanwhile, Melinda's sisters tell her that Robert is cheating on her after they found Diana’s wallet in his truck. Back at home, Melinda is angry at him for 'cheating' and refusing to accept Prescott's offer. She wants a divorce.

6. After the divorce, she loses the house, moves in with her sister, and starts dating her ex-boyfriend, Devon. While Diana invites Robert, who is living in a shelter, to stay with her.

7. Prescott reconsiders and offers Robert a multimillion-dollar deal, while allowing him to keep intellectual ownership of his invention.

8. Robert pays Melinda a visit at work with flowers. He thanks her for her support, tells her they would never get back together, and to show gratitude, gives her $10 million dollars and buys her home back.

9. Melinda is angry and blames her family for leading her astray. When she goes to Robert’s new penthouse to seduce him, Diana walks in and introduces herself as Robert’s fiancé.

10.That was the beginning of Melinda's anger, hurt and obsession with the couple. At this point, her anger is legendary.

She does things like suing them, disfiguring their photos and destroying Diana's wedding gown. The couple file a counter suit against her for her threats and obtain restraining orders.

After several attempts to separate them and exact revenge, Melinda dies while trying to hit Robert with an ax during his honeymoon cruise.

The question is: Who exactly is to blame here? Melinda? Robert? Melinda's family?

Pls Kindly drop ur comments, views & objections. No Abusive words.
Thanks......