1.2 billion Naira Art works

Njideka Akunyili Crosby, one of the daughters of late Dora Akunyili, has sold one of her numerous artworks for N1.2 billion ($3.4 million).

In a report by Wall Street Journal, Njideka's highest selling artwork at the moment is a 2017 botanical piece named 'Bush Babies.'

According to the report, New York based art company dealer, Sotheby’s estimated that the "Bush Babies," would sell for up to $800,000 but ended up selling for $3.4 million.

The "Bush Babies" artwork was sold during an auction at the Christie's in London, United Kingdom.

The artist, who once sold artworks for  $3,000 apiece has joined the leagues of top-flight artist in United States of America and United Kingdom.

It was Njideka also reported that least 20 public museums are on a waiting list for works which Njideka hasn’t painted yet.

Njideka Akunyili Crosby's laurel list

At 35 years old, this artist from Eastern Nigeria, has since been awarded the prestigious MacArthur Fellowship.

The MacArthur Fellowship, also referred to as the Genius Grant, awards $625,000 to artists, writers, teachers, scientists, entrepreneurs, and people from all works of life who have shown exceptional creativity.

The grant is doled out in instalments, made over a period of five years.

Aside the grant, Njideka has also been decorated with honours for her artworks by the New York’s Whitney Museum of American Art and London’s Tate Modern have come calling.

So you are still reading & doubting if your own potential can earn you this much.  No success is built in a year, is a gradual process.

My Story

My story, It’s a difficult one to tell …. I’m still living through it and haven’t turned the page of this chapter in my life just yet.

Due to the length of this story , I will give a summary of my life over the past 12 years and explore elements of my past further with each new post , as we take the journey in unfolding emotional abuse.
I am currently in the midst of finding healing from the loss of a traumatic 12 year long relationship , which ended abruptly 6 weeks ago when my ex-partner called our upcoming wedding off after a 4 year long engagement.
I can hear the words he said to me clearly in my head. You are not mature enough to be my wife nor to have my children , and one of us needs to be the mature one to say this’

"You are not mature enough to be my wife nor to have my children , and one of us needs to be the mature one to say this’

I remember the feeling of dark clouds settling in my mind as he sneered at me. I asked, with my heart pounding at around 150 beats a minute‘ What does that mean ? Is the wedding off ?’ He confidently replied ‘ YES’.
My world fell apart ‘Did I upset him today?’ , ‘Did I say the wrong thing?’ , ‘What have I done wrong now ?’ These questions ran on repeat in a never ending loop in my mind over the past 12 years.I could never figure it out.

" ‘Did I upset him today?’ , ‘Did I say the wrong thing?’ , ‘What have I done wrong now ?’

This was our destination wedding , planned for over 4 years . All my family , both in my home country and abroad had spent thousands to attend ….. his family had yet to purchase flights nor book their hotels.
I had spent thousands for every element of the wedding. wedding dresses , reception décor , venue reservation , flights , honeymoon … and more. He barely contributed triple figures….. How could I not have known,

" How could I not have known…

So…. I know what you are thinking …. ‘What did you do to cause this ?’ , ‘He must have had cold feet?’ , ‘Did you pressure him into this?’
He cancelled our engagement , because ‘I needed to adjust my attitude’, and that I hadn’t supported him the way he wanted me to after the death of a close relative. I even got accused of ‘not hugging him in a considerate way. whatever that means.
I offered counselling. anything to find out ‘What was wrong with me?’. He responded by telling his family ‘The wedding has been cancelled due to her behaviour’ yet he told my family that I had been the one to cancel our wedding. I didn’t know he had done that … my guests remained none the wiser .
I distinctly remember my heart fading to black when he confirmed what he had told our families. I made him aware that I had not yet informed my guests of the cancellation of our engagement and wedding He retorted sternly ‘ You thought I was joking’

Immediately following this conversation , in a bid to avoid showing any emotion (in fear of his admonition) , I sat on my balcony in absolute awe …. I went to bed alone that night … unknowingly awaiting his fury.
He greeted me with fierce reprimands ..’ You are so selfish , you didn’t even think to hug me , instead you nursed your feelings about the wedding rather than take care of me, you didn’t even think to cover me with a blanket whilst I slept on the sofa’. The beratement continued for several hours , as I sat silently , numb from the verbal lashings I had grown accustomed to for several years.

" you are selfish..

Fast forward to now , I have left the home I had done everything to purchase (as he was recently facing losing his place of residence) after being told to ‘move out if I didn’t return home by the end of a particular date’. I returned 3 weeks later to my belongings , taken out of my own furniture , and placed in garbage bags …. he had moved me out of the home that owned together…
You see … It took all this for me to reflect on the past 12 years … For 12 years I have been repeatedly invalidated , shouted at , been witness to his frustrations and resulting physical assault of walls and furniture , been told I wasn’t good enough , had false allegations made against me , been cheated on , been made to take a lie detector test (for unfounded accusations) and the most painful of all … loved one day and treated like an enemy the next.
I could do nothing right , and I was always the cause of his dissatisfaction ; he made that abundantly clear as often as he could.

This was the last straw...

"loved one day and treated like an enemy the next.

  " he trained me to think this way..

I have written this as a means of an outlet , and as a source of healing , by unravelling the confusion in my mind and to learn to validate MYSELF…. to give myself a voice and to hopefully show others that they are not alone. I am by no means a writer …so I apologise for my inaccuracies , but every word comes from my heart , and I hope you are able to see me , as I learn to SEE MYSELF.

Hmm..... Emotional Abuse....

Wickedness....

When the relationship is not working out, but you love them too much to let go, you keep encouraging yourself to stay and fight to make things work, believing they're doing the same for the relationship too, only to realize at the point where you are almost loosing yourself that the other person already let go while you were still holding on fighting. It hurts so much.

But why do people do that? They just stay silent and lead you on when they know they are no longer interested in the relationship. When things get boring for you, when you have lost every atom of love you have for that person, why is it difficult to just let them know? Why?

You know they are fighting to save what's left of the relationship, but you just sit there watching them give all they can to save what is already lost. You see them trying to win your affection. You see them calling, and texting, doing all they can to save the relationship from dying, but you are standing back, letting them fight alone, because you already left the ring a long time ago.

That is just wickedness.

Worse part is that you have moved on, having fun hooking up with other people, while your partner is just there, counting on you, believing in you, hoping everyday that things will go back to the way it used to be. It's wickedness.

A relationship I gave my all, thank God I hold back on my dearie Mom words! Never surrender totally to a woman, you are yet to call your wife. It helps on the day of sudden relationship adversity.
She left the relationship 5months ago & never declare it, so heartless. Only to be seeing you missing in the plan.

I know that sometimes it's difficult to let it out. Most times it's hard to open up to your partner about your feelings because you don't want people to talk about how you broke a heart, or because you are not sure how your partner will take the news. But hey, they deserve to know the truth that hurts, not the lie that deceives. Stop putting up some annoying atitude in an attempt to get your partner tired of the relationship. We do this alot, we just withdraw and wait for the other person to start talking about "the relationship is not working, let's take a break." When you know you stoped working on the relationship a long time ago.

Wickedness is not a fruit of the Spirit. If you have already let go in your heart, don't leave them hanging on to nothing, your partner deserves to do the same.

It leaves Most people with Heart of Hatred, never to trust anymore.

Pre-Wedding Night...

Hello funky believer, please can i talk to you for a minute?

Listen, I know that pre-wedding photos and bridal showers are awesome, I know it creates good memories for the couples and helps them bond intimately. I know how exciting it is to dress up in matching outfits with your spouse to-be and just have fun creating lasting memories with amazing photos and night parties with your gang. It is totally cool, but I just hope you also understand that as believers things are always a lot different for us, we don't just rush into a trend because everybody else is doing it, or because it is cool, what comes first is how much that fashion or trend adds to our christian life, i mean, how spiritually relevant is it to our love walk with God?

Please forgive me if I am sounding like a killjoy, but rather than surround yourself with friends who will dress up in white outfits and take photos with you in a hotel room to post on social media, why don't you keep a small circle of fire-branded friends that can join you in a pre-wedding prayer and fasting retreat, and still stick around to pray for your marriage whenever you need them?

Rather than going out on a bachelor's night party with a gang of friends who will tease you all night about how you'll be getting stuck with one woman for the rest of your life, why don't you have a bachelor's vigil with friends who's prayers and personal walk with God you can trust?

Hope you don't think I am trying to kill all the fun you have been dreaming to have, all I want you to see is how we can turn these exciting worldly interests into our spiritual advantage. When our friends are doing bridal showers, we can do bridal fasting and still have fun. When others are doing bachelor's night, let's do bachelor's vigil instead, is anybody catching this?

Start building up an army of friends you will need on that marriage journey, not the ones that don't have the spiritual capacity to go with you beyond the I DO. Start choosing your WAR FRIENDS carefully, start gathering spiritual guarantors who can stand in the gap for you in the place of prayer.

I encourage everyone to add this to their wedding plans, schedule a pre-wedding prayer retreat with fasting and tarry if your strength can carry, the pre-wedding photos and bridal showers can come later, but first, plan a retreat with your church, or a personal retreat at home with a few close friends whose prayers you can rely on anytime. This is a long term spiritual investment, this is what Sustains the marriage long after the swagger of the bridal showers and bachelor parties has expired, I wish alot of us can learn this.. And if you don't have a few good friends whose prayers you can rely on, then I beg you to start building one now.

"The most important pre-wedding exercise is not the beautification of your wedding, BUT the edification of your marriage.

Hope this speaks to somebody, we are the chosen generation God will boast about!

Boredom in Marriage.....

Some months ago a friend of mine came to me troubled about his relationship. He wanted to propose to a lady he has been dating for more than a year but he was a bit concern about the fact that she doesn't have a lot of swagger, not as much as he would love his woman to have.

That night he said to me;

Maria only goes to work in the morning, church in the evening, then heads back home. That is her daily routine.

She doesn't wear trousers, only long skirts and blouse every day. She ties her hair all the time , and never looks interested in hanging out or honouring party invitations we get invited to.

Her favourite spot is her church headquarters, she loves attending conventions more than anything in the world. I mean she has a boring social life. Each time I try to light her up she just prefers to stay in and mind her business.

I laughed my heart out that night at the eatery because I could totally relate to how frustrating that can be.

It's been three months after their beautiful wedding. And guess what?

Today his wife Maria makes all the restaurant reservations, buys them movie tickets and take him out for some karaoke, with her own money. She orders him pizza and smoothie at work. He said one time he got out of the office to find her waiting outside with an Uber to drive him home. And oh yea! she now wears not only jeans trousers, but leggings, pantyhose and bumbshots around the house as well. Last time he called to say he never saw it coming, how a calm-churchy single lady can turn out to be a wife with so much swagger, much more than he could ever bargain for.

Some aunties are just like that. Like Maria. Cover their hair all the time, all dressed in long long gowns anytime you see them. Will take a miracle to get them to attend a party, no trousers, some of them no makeup, their daily routine is just work-church-home-kitchen-sleep. Judging from how they are you would think marrying them will land you in a lifetime of boredom. But naaa, you have no idea how much swagger they are covering inside, just waiting for the right moment and the right man to come in and roll away the stone and unleash the excitement they have been saving up.

Dear uncle, please do not hold back if you're dating to marry one of these warm and reserved aunties. That was exactly what I told my friend that night. Don't let that push you away. Some are just waiting TO DO in marriage, with the right man. Be patient enough to stay and enjoy all she's been saving up for you. And such woman when they unleash, hmmmm, it will be more than you can handle.

Some aunties are just not ready to give permanent husband benefits to temporary boyfriends.

Propose A Relationship...

It's so important that I share this with my family, mean you;

When you are praying and believing God for the right person to marry and the Lord reveals someone to you with the revelation of a dream, a vision, or a prophecy from a member of your family or a minister you trust with the Word, do not be quick to approach that person for a relationship or marriage immediately after the revelation comes, please do not be quick.

Sometimes these dreams or visions or prophecies are so crystal clear that the name of the person is mentioned without error. Most times in these dreams the face of your spouse to be are usually recognized. It could be a friend, a collegue, a mentee, or even a single sister in a church that you are pastoring and mentoring. You see the face so clear and you're convinced that your answer has come, and with that conviction you move straight to that person with all spiritual and physical boldness to confess your love for them and propose a relationship.

That's not how's it's done dear vision-recieving brethren.

When these revelations come, do not be quick to make the obvious relationship and marriage move. Rather, let your move be towards starting a good friendship with the person if you are not already good friends, or strengthening your friendship if you are already close friends before God pointed them out as the one.

Get to know the visionee. God is not leading you out to go marry a stranger or someone you know nothing about. Sometime the vision can be true but the timing of your approach can be very wrong. And when you approach a right vision at the wrong time you might not experience the evidence of God's leading.

God might be showing you someone for you to get to know first, not to go rush and marry.

God might be saying there are the one but they are not ready for you yet because they are distracted by someone or something else. Because they have an addiction you need to know about and help them overcome. Because they are currently in a relationship that they believe strongly is heading towards marriage but it's not. Because they are also single but you cannot start a relationship with them right now, she will frustrate your love efforts, he will not reciprocate your committment, because they are not ready for love yet.

Sometimes God shows you someone who needs to heal first before committing to you.

And when we move hastily basking in that conviction, we end up getting frustrated along the way when that person's attitude is not in sync with the conviction God gave You, so doubt sets in.

Get to know the person first brethren. Most times God is not showing you the vision to go and start taking prewedding pictures, God might be asking you to go and wash them up first, before presenting them to yourself without stain or wrinkles. And there isn't a better way to do that than friendship.

Thanks.. 

Why Localize???

Quickly, please get in here dear uncles who are Godly husbands in the making.

I believe it's time we learn this simple love hack, it's so sad to see married couples stressing out their marriages everyday trying to deal with their partner the hard way when they can apply a little bit of wisdom to get results. Heaven wants no more stressed out marriages, I need you to start practicing this in your relationship like right now and get used to it...

If you want your partner to change something you do not like about her; I'm talking about physical things like the way she dresses so chaff, or the outdated grandma hair styles she loves to carry, or her terrible taste in shoes, or her untrendy choice of handbags, or that flashy wristwatch she wears without batteries etc...
The best way you can get a woman to change her style is not to vocalize it by complaining about it every now and then, the best way to get her to change her style is to ACT it.

Don't complain about it. Don't nag. Don't say "everytime you are always wearing this ugly shoes, I don't like it, don't you have another one?" if you don't like the shoes she's always wearing, get her a new one and replace it. It's the easier way.

Don't localize, ACT. You noticed she's been wearing a wristwatch that isn't working? Instead of complaining about it how about you ask if you can take it to someone who can fix it, or get her a new one?

The replacement method works better. Make suggestions, say;

"Sweetheart, can I get you a new handbag so that you can stop carrying this old one?"

If you don't like her hairstyles, browse some very nice hairstyles and send to her, suggesting she tries one the next time she goes to the salon. If you can, offer to pay for it.

And this applies to aunties too. Most men have favourite things. A brother can wear a pair of shoes the whole year, not like he cannot afford a new one, we just have this thing sometimes, if we don't wear it to the point of no return we won't get a new one.
Don't nag at him to change his shoes, ACT it. Get him a new pair, offer to chip in for a new one. A new pair from you is always different from all the new pairs he has at home, its special, he will wear it.

Localizing too much makes your partner insecure. They'll start feeling uncomfortable around you. If you keep complaining about her makeup she'll never be herself wearing lipstick around you.
If you keep complaining about her shoes she will begin to feel she's not good enough for you, and that is a level of insecurity you do not want in your relationship.

Learn to act it. Vocalize in your heart, save up and replace.

The best part about this is that when your partner starts getting a hint of the kind of things you like from the stuff you get for her, she'll start living up to it, buying things for herself that suits your style.

Thanks....

Unbeliever is Nothing..

Sometimes it not very easy for me to teach these things, it is not very easy for me to teach that God does not want us to yoke with unbelievers in marriage, folks who have no relationship with Him. Most times it sounds like we are making it up, but honestly we ain't.

God has showed us a million times all over scriptures why we should stick to our kind when making a marriage decision. Let me show you one more tonight, one powerful instance where God Himself couldn't compromise on His own word, even though in His heart He wanted to.

It's in Luke 16:19, the amazing story of our friends Lazarus and the rich man. In a second let me show you one of God's strongest standards in that story that you might not have seen before....

I will read briefly from verse 22:

“The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us."

Who else can see this with me?

The rich man was asking permission from Abraham for Lazarus to dip his finger in water and let the drop quench his taste, but Abraham denied him. Not because he wasn't interested or willing to help his torment, he couldn't give his permission because a great wall separates their fellowship.

Abraham said "besides the fact that you didn't live a good life on earth, even if I want to help you now I can't, because it is forbidden for anyone, or ANYTHING, or any CONVENANT to cross from where we are to where you are."

The rich man didn't want Lazarus to come meet him in his place of torment with water, that would have been a big ask. All he wanted was for Lazarus to dip his hand in water right where he is and direct the drops to fall in his mouth, still Abraham said no. Meaning nothing can cross over to that side, not man, not water, not marriage, nothing.

If God feels this way about the sharing of water drops between light and darkness, imagine how He feels when we cross over with our spirit, soul and body to yoke with an unbeliever in marriage?

Don't get me wrong, God is not asking us to despise or run away from our unbelieving friends who have no relationship with Him. In fact He wants us to love and pray for them. Even more He wants us to win them over to our side by our words and actions. Abraham and Lazarus could chat with the rich man from where they are, there was no barrier in communication, they chatted like they were in the same location, but when it came to sharing a fellowship, Abraham quickly reminded them of the standard. No one can cross over to that side, he said.

I want you to think about this the next time you start finding darkness attractive. The next time you start thinking about tuning down your light to fit into the darkness of someone you are eager to marry. I want you to think about this carefully. It is not because we like to teach it, but because it is God's truth. Love everyone equally, win them over by the light of Christ shining through you, but marry your own kind, that is God's will for our marriage, that we are not nequally yoked.

God wants to you to share more than a drop of water with your spouse, He has given you the whole ocean, even more, He wants you to enjoy living water overflowing in your marriage, but fortunately, He doesn't work in darkness,

"let there be Light." He said.

After Church Service.....

After church on Sunday it was announced that all the men should wait behind to pray for 30 minutes, both the singles and the married men. Half way through the session I noticed a lady joined us, praying like crazy and speaking in tongues everywhere.

Okay, to be honest, I got distracted there for a bit. She was the only lady praying amongst us, and she wasn't wearing a wedding ring, indicating she was a single lady. After the prayers my curiosity as usual, because somewhere between my own prayers I was asking God if she was praying for her husband or standing in the cap for a brother. So stubborn me, I wasn't willing to let it go. I spotted her leaving and went to say hello.

Another problem was asking, how do I ask her politely why she waited to join the men's prayer meeting without sounding very awkward. Right there an idea hit me.

So I said, "Hello, excuse me good afternoon. I saw you praying with the men and I thought I should come over and thank you for standing with the men in prayer."

Trust me that was the only polite way I could think of asking.

Then she hit me with a delicious bomb, she said, "yea, I was standing in the gap for my boyfriend, kinda long distance relationship, but you can say that I'm standing with the men in prayer."

My heart sank like awwwnnnn, so nice, the only thing I could say was "thank you on his behalf."

Hmmmm, I just want to challenge somebody reading this right now, the only place God can recognise you is in the place of prayer. The only time God recognises your love bond is when you are standing in the gap for your partner, or standing in the gap together.

Dear aunty of life, start praying for that man now, forget about marriage, praying for him as a single man will make praying for him as a married man easier. Develope the habit of standing in, practice carrying some of his weight on your own shoulders. Intentionally tell him to give you one of his prayer points to pray about, let him start feeling the miracles happening in his life as a result of your prayers.

Give him testimonies, testimonies inspired by you. Let him boost to his friends and say;

"I got the job because my babe and I prayed."
"I felt the headache disappearing when my girl layed hands on me, so each time I feel a headache I just run to her."

Uncles I'm talking to you too. How about hearing your boo boasting about you to her friends in the saloon?

"Alex, is my priest, He talks to God on my behalf because God listens to him."
"I got the admission after Daniel and I fasted."

Start building your partner's confidence in your prayers. Talk to God about your partner so much that anytime you walk into His presence He will be like "ehennn? what do you want me to do for Andrew again?"

Don't wait to practice in marriage, start with your relationship now!

Don't wait until a man comes, start building that familiarity with God before he comes with his coconut head.

I feel like am talking to someone out here reading this in bed, it is you?