You can't just say what you mean and mean what you say

The short answer is because what you are saying can be very different from what your audience hears.

The longer answer is because what you say is hardly ever all that you mean – no matter how honest you think you are.


For example, what if you are at work, and you want your boss to get off your back and stop hounding you about something? Although there are some cases in which you might go and directly say something, this is often not the best course of action. Usually, if you say anything at all, it will be addressed more gently, not revealing your annoyance. Often, you won’t say anything at all.
I also notice this phenomenon in the area of dating and romance: people are so concerned about how they will come across that they modify their expression in order to give themselves a better chance at being heard. After all, it would be nice if you could just come out there and say that you want to rip somebody’s clothes off and ravage their body and soul with unbelievable sex – or maybe that you want a lifetime relationship, in which you have a house together and 2 or 3 kids, and that you’re just looking for somebody who might be willing to take that plunge with you! Wouldn’t that be great?
Unfortunately, this is asking an awful lot of anybody to whom your request is posed. Folks who might be open to these scenarios later on will often run the other way if you throw it at them without a contextual history and background within which to understand it.
And so it is that in situations of potentially higher drama, when getting to the truth is crucially important, often this is, ironically, when it becomes more difficult to “say what you mean and mean what you say.” Because the stakes involved are not just about the answer to a lingering question – they also often involve unintended value judgments and hidden conclusions about what people are thinking (and even how much respect they deserve). The boss whose employee asks for some freedom from constant surveillance might be left thinking that their employee does not respect them or their authority – not the intended consequence at all, but these side effects often happen. Or the boss might take it personally and conclude that their leadership skills as a boss are faulty. Again – unintended collateral drama.
In dating and other social relationships, this drama often multiplies upon itself. For example, Person A doesn’t tell Person B the whole truth about how they feel about one of Person B’s persistent habits, and a tension develops. One or both people notice the tension on some level, even if not consciously, and it interferes with their ability to get along – but nobody says anything until finally, one day, something breaks the insecurities wide open and a huge flood of drama that has been building up comes pouring out, and people get hurt. This underscores the need for us to have clear communication skills, to avoid unnecessary buildups and dramatic blowups that can occur when straightforward communication is not happening.
Another problem that often develops is when somebody is used to not being able to share their whole truth. They’ve had experience after experience that confirms to them that when they straightforwardly share exactly what’s on their mind, their open sharing inspires a shitstorm of everything from mistrust to confusion to unnecessary, unsolicited judgment about who they are as a person! This especially happens to outsiders, minorities, and people who are more subject to scrutiny for who they are in general.
When somebody experiences such constant misunderstanding and judgment, they often learn to think about what the best thing to say is, as opposed to the truest thing. It could be part of the truth, it could be a simple lie, or it could be something that shifts the focus or attempts to change the subject. Which is why we need to stop seeing “say what you mean and mean what you say” as being only the sharer’s responsibility. Because, from the sharer’s viewpoint, the question is “what is the best way to get you to understand me as best as possible?” If you truly want to hear that, you have to be willing to listen to them and work together to get to that place in those moments when the communication is not so easy and automatic.
One of my best friends and I have constant misunderstandings. At times, we have literally spent hours untangling our misunderstandings – because sometimes one doesn’t know what the heck the other is trying to say! But the strength of our friendship has been built on the desire both of us have to understand the other. Both of us can actually be really direct, honest, blunt people – but that doesn’t stop us from getting misunderstood! :-)
One more thing: I know of some people who think honesty is easy – just tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Ok – nothing but the truth is not so hard to figure out, I’ll give you that. But if you want to talk about the whole truth, well … nobody ever actually tells “the whole truth.” That’s because this is impossible to reliably do, especially if someone asks you an open-ended question. If you are sitting in your living room and somebody texts/emails you “what’s up?” and you answer “I’m sitting in my living room,” you are telling the truth – this is not a lie – but you aren’t telling the whole truth. You might also be thinking about things while sitting there, or maybe eating a bowl of oatmeal. Or maybe you’re waiting for the massage therapist to stop by for your massage appointment. Or waiting for your kid to come home from school. Or perhaps you’re sitting there because you’re tired, and maybe you’re watching TV. But, you see, you didn’t say any of this. You didn’t tell “the whole truth.”
I often get this kind of weird confusion when people ask me where I’m from. Sometimes I humorously reply “from my mother’s womb, of course.” This isn’t a lie, I did indeed come from there. :-) But it illustrates (1) how the perfectly valid truth that one person speaks can [often completely by accident] not line up with the truth that another person is looking for, and (2) how liars, cheaters, and other dishonest folks can often say things that are perfectly true and still continue to lie, cheat, and deceive.

The biggest myth about honesty is that it is a purely passive thing (i.e., don’t fabricate lies). That’s only half the battle. The most honest people go a step further than just not lying: they see their honesty through from start to finish. They verify, as much as possible, that they and the other person are on the same page about what they have communicated. People who bluntly say shit and claim “I’m just being honest” all the while knowing that their “honesty” hasn’t encouraged any real understanding are practicing lazy honesty – which won’t win you any awards from me. 

Why Jealousy Is So Powerful

Jealousy is one of those demons that just seems to take everything over when it is felt – even when you know on the inside that your jealousy doesn’t make sense somehow, it often still rips through and takes you hostage. Many people even go so far as to call jealousy an innate emotion, as though, no matter what, we will always feel some jealousy sometimes, and there’s nothing we can do to help that.
Some people even think jealousy is a healthy thing, because it means that you care. You know that you are in love, it is said, when you feel tremendous pangs of jealousy about that special love that you share being shared with somebody else. Without jealousy and other associated negative involuntary emotions, the relationship might as well end, it is said, because then you have no more passionate divine spark. If you don’t ever get jealous, it must mean that you can turn your emotions on and off at a whim, and thus no more organic drive exists to feel.

I want to correct some assumptions here – because it is obvious, if you look around you enough, that there are people who do not ever really feel jealousy. I am one of them. Such people do not have shallower emotions; rather, they have an inbuilt understanding that channels negative emotions away from feelings of jealousy. This holds a lot of hope for those other folks who tend to become prisoner to jealousy’s grip: it’s not an inevitable process.

The difference between envy and jealousy

Envy happens when you see somebody else experiencing something you’d like to have. You get a wishful feeling inside, like you want what they have. But this feeling does not necessarily lead to jealousy, you see; you can be envious of somebody’s situation and make common cause with them. For example, say one of your friends is doing a workout routine and has gotten into really good shape. You envy them, and thus you come up to them and ask them what their secret is, and maybe even whether you can join them and do what they do. This is an example of an envious response that leads not to jealousy, but rather to motivating, progressive thinking.
Jealousy is different; it is an altogether negative, regressive state of mind. The jealous thought says “I want what you have, and thus until I have it, you shouldn’t have it either.” This is very different from simple envy, because now the emphasis is not on you moving forward, but rather on keeping the other person back. That’s why jealousy can be so destructive and all-consuming; the jealous individual gets into a state of mind that presumes the right to control other people’s pleasure! Yikes. Even if they say nothing at all, the feelings are still there, and the air becomes heavy with them.

Little feelings of jealousy are understandable sometimes, and I will talk about why in a minute. However, once we get into a situation of chronic jealousy, I don’t think it is extreme to say that there is potential abuse down the road, since jealousy involves that sense of entitlement to control. There’s definitely a really big incentive out there for folks that are prone to jealousy to work on themselves to minimize the recurrence of such all-consuming feelings. Jealousy is not an emotion that should be embraced as a sign that strong love exists. In fact, it’s the opposite; jealousy comes from a perspective of self-preservation, not love towards others. Now let’s talk about why that is.

The real roots of jealous feelings

Most societies seem to characterize jealousy as a natural reaction to when something sacred or important to you is shared with someone else (the primary example usually being romantic, sexual, or otherwise intimate love). This has things completely confused. Jealousy’s force does not derive from the sharing of something special to you; rather, it comes from the feeling that you are about to lose that special thing that is being shared – that, by sharing it, you are in danger of losing it. This aversion to loss is quite natural! Of course, even people that feel no jealousy also have times when they fear losing something precious. It’s part of the human experience.
I remember at one point asking myself: people don’t usually seem to get jealous if they are best friends with somebody that also has another “best friend,” so why is there such a strong norm about being in a romantic/sexual relationship with somebody who maintains such a relationship with others?
It is clear to me now that this perspective has to do with fear of loss – something that the property-oriented thinking that predominates around romantic relationships is really good at setting us up for. Whether it’s dogmatic monogamy or a “one male, multiple females” version of polygamy, social norms strongly dictate to us that intimate relationships = property relations. Now, you may be thinking that this is a ridiculous idea, but really, think for a moment about how marriage is regulated: you have to get permission from a judge to get married or divorced. The government must recognize you and your partner as being organized into a family unit – you cannot do this yourself.
Then there are those creeping terms we use in language to indicate relationship ties which surreptitiously bring ideas of ownership to mind: “my one and only,” “till death do us part,” “he’s mine,” “she’s spoken for,” and other such expressions bring with them the burdens of rigidness and restrictions consistent with a “contract” – because hey, that’s what marriage truly boils down to, isn’t it? You can have the deepest, closest relationship which is not a marriage, and you can have an unintimate, unpassionate “marriage of convenience,” on the other hand – but there’s no escaping, either way, that marriage is, even in popular discourse, regulated by the government, and thus not innately some sacred thing that you create with your partner. All these norms and expectations floating in the background about what a relationship is supposed to be does have a huge effect on how we orient to such relationships – even when the thought of marriage is nonexistent, especially in normative, heterosexual contexts.
Now, if we take this ever-present background of relationships = property, it becomes a lot easier to see why feelings of loss and envy get confounded into jealousy. The reality is that you cannot control how your partner feels or what they want. Despite all the chatter out there that talks about how to “keep your man” or how to “stop her from walking out,” the truth is that you don’t have this control. Loss and breakup can happen at anytime, and “putting a ring on it” or moving in together will not erase such thoughts and possibilities.
Want to know what does help? Honest, open communication – in which, rather than facing loss with a restrictive jealous mindset, we become open about our fear of loss, and can talk about it more calmly. It may be very hard to do this sometimes, because that exposes you to being vulnerable – but guess what? Vulnerability is part and parcel of intimate relationships! You’re vulnerable all the time, whether you like it or not, and I say that it’s better to have a handle on that vulnerability and be able to manage it, rather than it suddenly flaring up and managing you.

If you tend to get jealous, I challenge you to monitor yourself: see if you can find the grain of fear that you are going to lose something precious to you that fuels your jealousy. I guarantee you, it’s always there. What other reason could you possibly have for wanting to restrict somebody you care about from enjoying them self?
So Are You Still a Victim????

Unplug

The other day I sat down in my office to work on my computer. It's always on so I usually just wiggle my mouse to turn on my screen and then go to work. On this particular day, I wiggled my mouse and nothing happened. I did it again and still nothing. Then I tapped my keyboard and wiggled my mouse and still nothing. I called one of the IT guys at the church and he told me to try some things which I did and again nothing happened. Then he said, "This is what I want you to do—on the back of your computer is the main power plug. Disconnect it and wait a while to let all the power and all the old information drain out. Then plug it back in and turn it on." So I did exactly that. I pulled the plug and waited a few minutes and then I plugged it back in and my computer came back on and worked perfectly!
As I started to work, I thought about how our lives can be overloaded just like that computer. Sometimes we try many different things to "reset" ourselves but what we really need to do is simply unplug and let go of all the things that are overwhelming us. We need to be still before God and allow Him to recalibrate us.
Have you ever felt like you were working hard but not working smart? Or maybe you feel like you are spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere. Have you lost your peace? That's when you know that you need to unplug and get into the presence of God. You might think, "Oh my life is so busy! I just don't have time." Think about Jesus. He was the busiest person who ever lived on the earth. He couldn't go anywhere without being mobbed by a crowd. He had a mission that He had to fulfill. But He knew that the key to His success was to remove himself from all the activity and go spend time in the Father's presence. If Jesus had to do it, then for sure you and I do, too!
Today, find some time to separate yourself from the distractions of life. Unplug from the activity and be still in the presence of God. Let Him renew and restore you so that you can be empowered by Him to move forward in strength and victory!

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10, NIV)

By Victoria Osteen

Do you believe in yourself?

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you! One vital choice everyone must make consciously or unconsciously is that about yourself – Do I believe in myself? What a question, you would say. Though the question looks trivial it’s true!

Most times this choice is made unconsciously without even knowing it. Lets play-back time a little; when you tell yourself I don’t think I can pass that exam or get that job employment, or say to yourself, that man is better than I do, that lady is very fortunate, am just a victim of circumstance or ‘man go survive’… I can go on and on. You are simply taking an unconscious choice of doubt in yourself and your hidden potentials. Maybe you are not aware that today’s choices are decisions that determine tomorrow’s destiny!

    Maybe you are not aware that today’s 

choices are decisions that determine tomorrow’s destiny

Choices about yourself spring out of the reserve within. What do you feed on in the secrets? What is the picture on your inside? What do you think about often when you are alone? Do you know that your self-image will always control your choices and ultimately your behavior? Also, you will never attempt to get anything that you feel the person inside you is not qualified to get. Wow! That’s why you have not passed that exam or job interview – you don’t believe you deserve it! Every man is a living magnet! What you believe, you attract into your life. I challenge you today to believe in yourself! Be YOU – You Own Uniqueness!

Credit: Success is Who You are by Pst. Sam Adeyemi, 

Living the Life of Your Dreams

Life is designed for progression and not stagnation. One of the greatest discoveries you will make in life is this: as you change and improve, things and people will change and improve around you.

As these changes begin to occur, I want you to note that no matter what you want to achieve, your position does not count as much as your disposition. A positive disposition will ultimately guarantee a favorable position.

 "Life is designed for progression and not stagnation"

Let me share a personal experience with you. After I completed my NYSC, I thought getting a good job would be automatic. But like many others, I had to sit at home for over a year. 

Throughout that period, I made up my mind that I was not going to worry about my unemployed status though I had not gotten a job for over a year. I said to myself; “I am not going to be unemployed forever, I am taking this as a brief holiday.” I went to my pastor and said, “I am offering to work as a volunteer.

The moment I broke free from that mindset of not being employed, somebody came to church on a Sunday and said, “I heard that they need a Civil Engineer on this particular site.” I thought, could it be so easy? I applied for the job and two of us were called for an interview. They needed somebody with three years experience, but I was freshly out of school, while the other candidate had the experience. I could not answer most of the questions they asked me because I had not worked practically on a site before. The panel told me, “Mr. Adeyemi, you have not been able to answer our questions satisfactorily. You don’t have the experience that we need.”

I had read then of the power of attitude, so instantly I spoke to them, “Gentlemen, I appreciate what you have said. It is true that I do not have the experience. But as you can see from my results and from the way I am speaking that I am very intelligent. If you give me this job, I will catch up very fast. I am sure I will be able to deliver what you want within the next few months.” 

They thanked me and said they would get in touch. Eventually, a few days later, the person who introduced the job to me said they decided to employ the other person. I said it was okay. Then, he came back after a few days and said, “They said they are not employing the other person anymore, they are employing you. The job is now yours.” I got the job. You know what got the job for me? Attitude! I was positive. I raised their expectation. They knew that if they gave me the job, I would perform well because I believed that I was going to perform well.

What do you believe? What you believe is what you will become!

You will Succeed!

Sam Adeyemi

Why Do We Get Sweaty in Sleep

If you have ever awakened drenched in sweat, you might wonder: Why do we get sweaty in sleep? If it occurs repeatedly, it may be associated with other medical conditions and may require further evaluation. It also may mean different things in children and even in women going through menopause. Discover some of the reasons why we get sweaty in sleep.

Body Temperature and the Sleep Environment
First, the most common reason you might get sweaty at night is because of an elevation in body temperature due to a warm sleep environment.

 If your bedroom has the thermostat cranked, if you are wearing heavy fleece pajamas, or if you are buried under blankets and comforters, it’s no surprise if you become too warm and start to sweat. This is clearly normal.

There are also normal variations of the body temperature throughout sleep. Most people will experience a dip in the core body temperature towards morning, often around 4 AM. Moreover, during certain phases of sleep, the autonomic nervous system (which controls body temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, and other factors) may become revved up and lead to some sweating.

Sleep Disorders Cause Night Sweats
It should be no great surprise that disorders that affect sleep could also lead to night sweats as they occur at the same time. The most common is sleep apnea. If you struggle to breathe during sleep, this will lead to increased effort and work of breathing. Imagine how much you sweat when you are running a race and breathing hard! Each episode of apnea can also provoke a burst of cortisol, the body’s natural stress hormone, to prompt normal breathing.
In children, and toddlers especially, sleep-disordered breathing may manifest as sweaty and restless sleep. The child may wake red-faced and drenched in sweat with the covers messed up. This should prompt further evaluation, especially if snoring and other signs of sleep apnea are present.
Women may have an increased incidence of hot flushes (or flashes) during sleep as they transition through early menopause. Interestingly, the risk of obstructive sleep apnea increases 10-fold at this time due to the loss of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. Therefore, night sweats in older women may occur with menopause as a result of sleep apnea.
Some people notice they get sweatier in sleep after drinking alcohol. Alcohol is a muscle relaxant that may affect the upper airway and worsen snoring and sleep apnea. Therefore, the consumption of alcohol may be linked to night sweats through sleep-disordered breathing like apnea.
Finally, nightmares and generalized anxiety may also provoke panic attacks and sweatiness during sleep. If you have recurrent bad dreams, especially in the setting of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), treatment may be helpful. Children may also become sweaty while experiencing night terrors.
Other Medical Causes of Sweating in Sleep
There are multiple other causes of night sweats that should be considered. Isolated incidences are less worrisome but chronic sweating at night may require additional evaluation. If you have other symptoms or signs, such as fevers and weight loss, it may be important to speak with your doctor about the need for further testing. Some of the other potential causes of night sweats include:

• Infections (Including tuberculosis)
• Medications (Antidepressants, Hormone replacement, Insulin)
• Hyperthyroidism
• Diabetes (Hypoglycemia from medications)
• Autonomic disorders (Affecting the brain or nervous system)
• Other causes

If you are concerned about recurrent night sweats, talk to your doctor about some of the potential causes of sweaty sleep and whether you need further evaluation with a sleep study or other testing.

5 Ways to Keep a Man’s Attention

Some of us are great at the chase, but not so good at the kill. In other words, we know how to get the guy, but when it comes to keeping him, it’s a different story. Once you’ve impressed your guy and wooed him, and you both finally come down from cloud nine, what’s next?

How do you keep a man interested and show him that you’re worth keeping around, especially once he realizes that you’re not perfect like he thought (none of us are)? Being yourself is always a good place to start, but there are other things that you can do to keep a man by your side, help him to really appreciate you, and take that step to commit.

Here are five ways to get on your guy’s good side.

1. Learn to speak his love language.

First and foremost, find out what his love language is. You can make him dinner every night, but if his love language is “words of affirmation,” you’ll be spinning your wheels.

Once you’ve determined his love language, you can tailor your affections to his needs, and you’ll even reap the benefits. When your man feels loved, he’ll be more likely to shower you with the affection you deserve.

Words of Affirmation - If this is your guy’s love language, he craves verbal affection and praise. He needs to feel that you value him and the things he does, however insignificant they may seem.

Make a point of saying “thank you” and, at least once a day, tell him that you appreciate him. It’s important to follow your words with actions, but just a few simple words will make his day!

Quality Time - If quality time is most important to your man, he will feel loved when you spend time together that is free of distractions.

For instance, depending on the person, watching television together may not constitute quality time. Instead, choose an activity that will allow you to focus your attention on him. Try to make a point of having dinner together alone at least a few times a week, and take advantage of your extra time on the weekends to plan something fun that requires interaction. You’ll be amazed at the difference a few hours can make in helping to keep a man happy!

Receiving Gifts - While this love language may sound expensive, it doesn’t have to be. Some people simply need love to be expressed in visible and tangible ways. Pay attention to the little things that make him feel loved.

Put a note in his work bag with a Hershey’s kiss, or buy him a book that you think he would enjoy. Surprise him at work with lunch or a cup of his favorite coffee. Little things like this will go a long way toward making him feel special and fulfilled in your relationship.

Acts of Service - Acts of service include making your guy dinner, doing his laundry, picking up his dry cleaning, getting his car washed, and any other chore that can make his life simpler and less stressful.

Pick two things to do for him each week, in addition to what you would normally do, and your man will feel loved!!!! 

                                     

South Africa police investigate 'snake pastor' church raid

South African police are investigating the raid of a church run by a self-styled prophet accused of making his followers eat snakes, rats and hair.

Opposition Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) party activists disrupted a service near the capital, Pretoria, and a tent was burnt down in the fracas.
Pastor Penuel Mnguni gained notoriety after photos showed him dangling a live snake into a man's mouth.
However, police withdrew charges of animal cruelty against him.
Police spokesman Mathews Nkoadi said in July that there were no witness statements and insufficient evidence to bring a case.

• BBC Africa Live: News updates

Dubbed the "snake pastor", Mr Mnguni runs the End Times Disciples Ministries in Soshanguve, north of Pretoria.
The EFF said that they had raided a service on Sunday because they wanted Mr Mnguni to "lead by example" and eat snakes and rats.
But EFF spokesman Mbuyiseni Ndlozi tweeted that the pastor "ran away" so they were unable to confront him. Mr Mnguni has not commented on the raid.

People at the service on Sunday ate leaves

They were also offered toilet paper

EFF activists advanced on the church carrying mice and small lizards, South Africa's Pretoria News reports.
"We are fighting corruption and this man is [allegedly] a prime example of that," EFF official Mandisa Mashego is quoted as saying.

'Heretical'

EFF activists left after a tent from the church was brought down and set ablaze; the congregation then continued with the service.
In one instance, a young man attacked a journalism student and tried to bite her hair after being told by a preacher that there was food in it, Pretoria News reports.

The church's activities have been condemned by mainstream church leaders

Last week, the mainstream South African Council of Churches condemned such churches as "heretical".
"There are people who are trying to make money off the desperation of people, and that is exactly why you need some sort of mechanism for serving a standard on how churches are run," said its general secretary Bishop Malusi Mpumlwana.

South Africa is one of the most unequal countries in the world, with a high rate of unemployment and poverty.

First Humans Out of Africa Were Small, Scrappy

The most comprehensive dataset ever assembled on our early human ancestors provides evidence that the first humans emerged in South Africa, and that the first humans to migrate out of Africa came from a small-bodied species such as Homo habilis, aka "Handy Man."
The theory is a complete shake-up of the human family tree, since it has long been theorized that a relatively tall, muscular human, Homo erectus (Upright Man), was the first to leave Africa for Asia and Europe.
Traditionally, Handy Man "was viewed as a little human, with a relatively big brain, bipedalism, and tool-making forming part of the picture," said Mark Collard, a professor at Simon Fraser University's Human Evolutionary Studies Program and Department of Archaeology, and senior author of the study in Proceedings of the Royal Society B.
Photos: Faces of Our Ancestors

 

Humans Are Still Evolving!

Human evolution happened slowly over the course of thousands and thousands of years. Are we still evolving today?

Collard, however, added that a revised view of Handy Man is that this human was much more ape-like than us, combining walking on two legs with frequent climbing.
Since the scrappy individuals were thought to have been a favorite snack of non-human predators at the time, one can imagine that Handy Man had to be handy with his feet as well when he was threatened.
For the study, Collard and his team compared alternative human evolutionary trees, seeing how well they fit the newly constructed dataset. The output from each, he explained, was a statistic representing one of the following: it was consistent with the dataset, it was not consistent and therefore could be rejected, or it fell somewhere in the middle.
The study rejected the theory that Homo floresiensis individuals, "Hobbit Humans," were simply deformed members of our own species. The data instead shows that these tiny residents of the Island of Flores, Indonesia, did indeed belong to a unique species. Collard and his team suspect that the hobbits descended from a small-bodied early Homo species, such as Handy Man.
Following this theory, Handy Man gave rise to Upright Man in Asia.
"Homo erectus would then have spread from Asia into Africa, rather than the reverse, which is what the current consensus contends," Collard said.
Humans Emerged Much Earlier Than Thought
As for Neanderthals, "We're pretty sure that Neanderthals are an exclusively Eurasian species; there is no evidence for them in Africa," he shared.
The species that gave rise to Neanderthals remains a mystery for now. This puzzlement about them, and other Middle Pleistocene humans, is referred to as "the muddle in the middle," Collard said.
Somewhat less confusing is the evidence on where the first humans likely emerged. The researchers plugged in information concerning the two-million-year-old human ancestor Australopithecus sediba, to help make that determination.
"The fact that Australopithecus sediba groups with Homo is consistent with the idea that the earliest known representative of the genus Homo originated in South Africa," Collard said.
Terry Harrison, director of the Center for the Study of Human Origins and New York University, where Harrison is also a professor, told Discovery News that the new study "will surely spark passionate debate on all sides of the paleoanthropological community."
Bernard Wood, a professor of human origins at George Washington University, calls the new study "a landmark publication." He explained that the researchers have "begun the process of deepening our present very superficial understanding of human evolutionary history."

Collard hopes that his team's results will encourage other scientists to pursue research in South Asia, Southeast Asia and China, where the remains of some of the earliest humans outside of Africa could be found.

Woman Loses Vision After Mosquito Bites

  A woman who caught chikungunya fever while vacationing in the Caribbean wound up losing some of the vision in her right eye permanently, according to a new report of her case.
The findings suggest that vision problems may be an underreported effect of the mosquito-transmitted virus, which has spread in recent years from Africa and Asia to the Caribbean, Latin America and parts of the United States, the report's authors said.

"Sight-threatening visual loss can be a late complication of infection with chikungunya," said Dr. Abhijit Mohite, who treated the woman and co-authored the report of her case.
seems we now have some reasons to be scared of mosquitos!!!!!!!!!!

Do You Need Healthy Relationship Tips? Get it Here!!!!

Communication is a key part to building a healthy relationship. The first step is making sure you both want and expect the same things—being on the same page is very important. The following tips can help you create and maintain a healthy relationship:

• Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it’s best to talk about it instead of holding it in.
• Respect Your Partner. Your partner’s wishes and feelings have value. Let your significant other know you are making an effort to keep their ideas in mind. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.
• Compromise. Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise if you disagree on something. Try to solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.
• Be Supportive. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not putting each other down.
• Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space.

for more discussion on this topic kindly holla @olalekanadeblog.........

What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Has a Terrible Apartment?

What will you do if you discover your boyfriend has a terrible apartment?