Mad Man And You---(HAVE YOUR SAY)

What will you do!!!!!!!!

walking on a narrow road carrying your baby on your hand, suddenly you saw a mad man approaching. you felt frightened but you summoned courage to walk through, suddenly you look back and discover the mad man was picking something on the ground, immediately you check your baby's hand and you notice your bunch of keys consisting of house and car keys was the one the mad man was taking on the ground.
WHAT WILL YOU DO????

* Beat the baby
* Beg the mad man
* Fight him
* Pretend to be mad too
* Buy him bread, gala etc.
* Abandon it and walk away
or whatever is your own view to this discussion, please your comment is really appreciated. 

Talking to Your Kids about Sexual Assault

It can be stressful to plan a big safety talk about sexual assault with your kid. The good news is, you don’t have to. Conversations about sexual assault can be a part of the safety conversations you’re already having, like knowing when to speak up, how to take care of friends, and listening to your gut. The key is to start these conversations when your kids are young, and have these conversations often.

Start conversations about safety when your kids are young
Teach young children the language they need to talk about their bodies and information about boundaries to help them understand what is allowed and what is inappropriate. These lessons help them know when something isn’t right and give them the power to speak up.

Teach children the names of their body parts.

When children have the words to describe their body parts, they may find it easier to ask questions and express concerns about those body parts.

• Some parts of the body are private.
Let children know that other people shouldn’t touch or look at them. If a healthcare professional has to examine these parts of the body, be present.
• It’s OK to say “no.”
It’s important to let children know they are allowed to say “no” to touches that make them uncomfortable. This message isn’t obvious to children, who are often taught to be obedient and follow the rules. Support your child if they say no, even if it puts you in an uncomfortable position. For example, if your child doesn't want to hug someone at a family gathering, respect their decision to say “no” to this contact.
• Talk about secrets.
Perpetrators will often use secret-keeping to manipulate children. Let children know they can always talk to you, especially if they’ve been told to keep a secret. If they see someone touching another child, they shouldn’t keep this secret, either. Learn more about protecting a child from sexual assault.
• Reassure them that they won’t get in trouble.
Young children often fear getting in trouble or upsetting their parents by asking questions or talking about their experiences. Be a safe place for your child to share information about things that they have questions about or that make them uncomfortable. Remind them they won’t be punished for sharing this information with you.
• Show them what it looks like to do the right thing.
It could be as simple as helping an elderly person get off a bus or picking up change that someone has dropped on the ground. When you model helping behavior it signals to your child that this is a normal, positive way to behave.
• When they come to you, make time for them.
If your kid comes to you with something they feel is important, take the time to listen. Give them your undivided attention, and let them know you take their concerns seriously. They may be more likely to come to you in the future if they know their voice will be heard. 

Continue to engage teens in safety conversations
It’s important to create a dialogue about topics like safety and sexual assault with your teen. Consider these conversation starters to engage them in conversation.

Use the media to make it relevant.

Ask your teen’s opinion on something happening on social media, in the news, in a new movie, or on a popular TV show. You could even watch an episode with them and ask follow up questions. Asking their opinion shows them that you value their point of view and opens up the door for more conversation.

• Use your own experience to tell a safety story.
Sharing your own experiences can make these conversations relevant and feel more real to teens. If you don’t have an experience you feel comfortable sharing, you can tell a story about someone you know.
• Talk about caring for their friends — not just about their own behavior.
Talking about how to be a good friend can be a powerful way of expressing to your teen that you trust them to do the right thing without sounding like you’re targeting their personal behavior. It also gives you the chance to communicate safety practices they may not otherwise be receptive to.
• Talk about sexual assault directly.
For some teens, safety issues like sexual assault aren’t on the radar. On the other hand, they may have misconceptions about sexual assault they’ve picked up from peers or the media. Bring up statistics that relate to them, such as the fact that 44% of victims are under the age of 18. Explain that no one “looks like a rapist,” and that 4/5 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. 

For more information on this topic, kindly contact @olalekanadeleyeblog on the above address.

 

 

Ways to Reduce your Risk of Sexual Assault

Safety planning when someone is hurting you 


Lean on a support network. Having someone you can reach out to for support can be an important part of staying safe and recovering. Find someone you trust who could respond to a crisis if you needed their help.

Become familiar with safe places. Learn more about safe places near you such as a local domestic violence shelter or a family member’s house. Learn the routes and commit them to memory. Find out more about sexual assault service providers in your area that can offer support.

Stay safe at home. If the person hurting you is in your home, you can take steps to feel safer. Try hanging bells or a noise maker on your door to scare the person hurting you away, or sleep in public spaces like the living room. If possible, keep the doors inside your house locked or put something heavy in front of them. If you’re protecting yourself from someone who does not live with you, keep all the doors locked when you’re not using them, and install an outside lighting system with motion detectors. Change the locks if possible.

Keep computer safety in mind. If you think someone might be monitoring your computer use, consider regularly clearing your cache, history, and cookies. You could also use a different computer at a friend’s house or a public library.

Create a code word. It might be a code between you and your children that means “get out,” or with your support network that means “I need help.

Prepare an excuse. Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at different times or for existing situation that might become dangerous. Have these on hand in case you need to get away quickly.

• Tell someone you trust. Stalking shouldn’t be kept a secret. Tell your parents, loved ones, a trusted adult, or the local police to determine if a report can be made. 
• Be prepared to reach out. If possible, keep your cell phone charged and have emergency contact numbers programmed ahead of time. You may want to save these contacts under a different name. Memorize a few numbers in case you don’t have cell phone access in the future.
• Change your routine. Be aware of your daily routine and begin to alter it overtime. Switch up the way you commute more often, taking different routes or different modes of transportation.

 @olalekanadeblog we are still posting more of our research  to you, for your safety and security. please try to reach out this message post to as many person you can. just like boko haram crisis in the country, rape is all around us just because  we felt self esteem to our own issues alone. that's why you are not seeing what the victims are going through and most victims choose to be silence, just because our environment sees them as a victim of shame and they die in silence. they don't think normally due to damages on there psycho memory. lets rise as we kick against rape among our girls & ladies.

New Year’s Resolutions: Turn Them into Questions

If you normally have trouble sticking to your New Year's resolutions, a new study may help: Psychologists have found that asking questions and then answering them, instead of making statements, is one key to sticking with your promises.

For example, you are more likely to actually exercise more if you ask yourself "Will I exercise more?" and then say, "Yes," instead of just telling yourself "I will exercise more." The researchers found that people tend to be more successful in changing their behaviors when they pose their goals as questions instead of statements, according to the study.

In the study, the researchers analyzed the results of 104 previous studies done over about eight years. The studies were looking into this effect of asking questions in a variety of contexts, such as eating healthier or going out to vote. Most of the analyzed studies found that questions, particularly questions with a yes or no answer, tended to be stronger behavior influencers than statements were. [7 Ways to Have a Happy New Year]

In most of the studies, the participants were questioned by another person, and only had to answer the question, said Eric Spangenberg, co-author on the paper and professor of marketing and psychology at the University of California, Irvine. However, there were also studies that looked at people who used self-questioning, and the researchers determine that this technique was also effective.

"One of the things people suggest is that maybe you could team up with a friend," when setting New Year's resolutions, he said. "It has the added benefit of making the commitment somewhat public." Committing to something in public makes people more likely to engage in the behavior, he told Live Science.

Although psychologists don't know exactly why questions are better at influencing behavior change than statements, Spangenberg speculated that questioning creates a type of pressure to follow through, or a sense of obligation, discomfort or guilt, and that helps motivates behavior change.

The researchers said they suspect that the reason yes or no questions tended to be more effective was because they were more definitive — you either are or are not going to exercise more in the future. However, Spangenberg said, that questions designed to influence behavior didn't have to be yes or no questions to affect a change in behavior. Spangenberg and his colleagues also noted that while questions are generally more effective at changing behaviors, the effect is strongest when the questions encourage behaviors that are considered "social norms," such as recycling or working out regularly.

Other research has suggested that making just a few resolutions, instead of a whole slew, keeping a diary about your progress and making up your mind to persevere even if you slip up can also help.

The study suggests that if you're trying to change for the better this coming year, grab a friend and ask each other some yes or no questions, which will help you both to stick to your guns.    
By: Elizabeth Newbern

I was groomed online, abducted, chained up, raped and tortured

I was checking on some research when i drop into this rape post and i took permission from alicia to share it on this group and will appreciate you learn from alicia story.

Sitting in a car as it hurtled through the freezing night, my heart pounded in my chest.

Breaking the silence, the stranger beside me barked. ‘Be good, be quiet!’ He told me the boot had been cleaned out for me, so I was terrified. I faced the real possibility I was going to die.

Up until this point I’d been a typically shy, quiet 13-year-old girl. It wasn’t until I started using online chatrooms with friends that I found a confidence I didn’t have before.

Tapping away in my living room, my mum nearby, I felt incredibly safe. I had no reason to believe it would lead to the most traumatic experience of my life.

Chatting to friends and then friends of friends is how I met ‘him’. Now I refuse to use his name, he is a monster to me. Back then, of course, as far as I was concerned he was just this boy into the Spice Girls and Titanic, like me.

I didn’t know I was being groomed. He always listened and said what I wanted to hear: ‘Your teacher is stupid,’ or, ‘Why tidy your room when it’s your mum’s job?’

Soon I was spending hours online oblivious to the danger ahead.

Being taken

It was New Year’s Day 2002 that I’d secretly arranged to meet him.

After dinner, I said I had a stomach ache and left the table. At 7pm, I nipped outside in the cold without a coat. I didn’t plan to be out for long.

Walking up my street, a voice kicked in. My intuition told me to go home, but it was eight months too late.

As I turned, I heard my name being called. There was no boy there, it was a man. The next part is a blank, but suddenly I was trapped in a car and I couldn’t get out.

After a terrifying five-hour journey, we arrived at his house. He’d taken me from my safe, warm home in Pittsburgh to an unfamiliar place in Virginia.

Pulling me down a flight of steps, we ended up in a basement full of strange devices, including a cage. ‘It’s OK to cry,’ he said coldly, ‘this is going to be hard for you.

Again, the details are a blur, but I remember him removing my clothes, locking a dog collar around my neck and dragging me upstairs. Up in his bedroom I was chained to the floor.

I felt the pain of him ripping my hair – I had braids from a family holiday in the Caribbean, so he pulled them at the roots.

Then he broke my nose and raped me. I’ve blanked out much of the experience. I know I could regain memories through hypnosis, but why would I want to?

In the four days that followed I was chained up, raped, beaten and tortured. I did whatever I had to do to survive, no matter how humiliating, painful, or disgusting. I did it because I wanted to live and hoped people might be looking for me. Hope was all I had.

I fantasised about mum and dad bursting through the door, but on the fourth day, before he left for work, he said, ‘I’m beginning to like you too much, tonight we’re going for a ride.’ I fully expected him to kill me on his return.

Lying on the floor naked, weeping, I felt pure despair. How could I escape? I was just 13 years old and 6 stone, he was over 21 stone.

People ask why I didn’t scream when he left. The truth is, I wasn’t sure he’d even gone. I pictured him waiting behind the door and panicked that any noise I made would prompt him to kill me on the spot.

Finally saved

Suddenly there was crashing and banging, and men shouting, ‘We have guns!’ The chain allowed me to move around the room, so thinking he’d sent them to kill me, I hid under the bed. I was ordered out naked to the barrel of a gun, I thought I was going to die, then I saw FBI – the three most beautiful letters – on his jacket.

I was saved. The relief, after being imprisoned for four days, was unbelievable.

My abductor had tripped up after livestreaming a video of him abusing me to a group online. When one of the guys realised he could be implicated as an accomplice, he called the police. Using the IP address they tracked me down.

At the hospital and police station I was so traumatised I could hardly speak, but I do remember seeing a dolls’ house after a forensic examination.

It made me realise that what I went through happens to kids younger than me, even babies. How can you begin to comprehend that?

That evening I was taken to a wonderful foster family. I sat up all night waiting for my parents. I didn’t know they couldn’t get a regular flight – media attention my rescue had generated forced them to take an FBI plane the next day instead.

I thought I’d done something wrong, that they didn’t love me anymore. Being finally reunited with them was incredible. They ran towards me and my dad gave me this hug that was so special, there are no words.

The aftermath

Back in Pittsburgh things should’ve been amazing, but as mine was one of the first big cases of internet luring, society didn’t understand how it happened. People blamed my parents – even distant relatives – and we were treated horribly.

Before the trial (he was eventually sentenced to 19 years and seven months in prison) the FBI needed me to identify myself in the videos. I had to watch myself being tortured. Being abused is indescribable, but to see it through the eyes of your abuser is another thing entirely.

That’s why I now fight so hard against child exploitation, I know how it feels to have people watch your suffering and enjoy it.

Despite the cuts and bruises, physically I was intact. Psychologically I was broken – nightmares and flashbacks came daily.

My experience left a hole, but I decided to fill it by raising awareness. I started to tell my story in schools. At first it was hard, but seeing the kids’ response was worth it.

I could give my pain purpose. The Alicia Project was born. Rebuilding trust is still hard, in others and in myself. But now I’ve fallen in love and my partner is so supportive of my mission.

I’ll never forgive the monster who did this, so instead I focus on getting Alicia’s Law (which helps fund internet-crime-against-children task forces, like the one that rescued me) passed in every US state. I was given a second chance at life, so now I choose to use that to save others.

How to keep your kids safe online- Alicia's advice:

 *Recognize that any child can become the victim of an internet predator. Predators don’t discriminate on gender, ethnicity, education, socioeconomic status, income, or religion.

● Teach them to never share private or identifying information with a person online who isn’t known or trusted in real life. A predator can use it to groom and/or locate them.

● Strengthen privacy settings on all social networking sites and check they remain unchanged after updates.

● Disable geo tagging on all mobile devices. It can automatically pinpoint and disclose their location. This option can usually be found under ‘Settings’.

● Monitor their activity. This includes desktops, laptops, tablet computers, and mobiles. Don’t feel that you’re ‘spying’. You’re the parent. This is your responsibility.

● Know their passwords on all devices. Check them regularly.

● Educate yourself on the apps they are using. Ask for an explanation and a demonstration.

● Maintain loving, open, and respectful lines of communication while setting enforceable rules for online safety. Assure them that they can always come to you for help in an uncomfortable or potentially dangerous situation.

Thank you for your time, free to share!!!

THANK YOU FOR 2015, CHEERS TO 2016!!!

@OLALEKANADELEYEBLOG, am so much grateful for your time and moment spent with us on this page. appreciate your 2015 efforts and thank you for your continuation committment with us on this blog and we promise to enlightened you more in 2016.
once more, we say thank you as we stat the journey. pls kindly make use of our contact details to reach us 24/7. we will be reaching out to you in 2016 with our  regular topics Relationship,Marriage,Career, Health,Discovery,Motivational Message & Have ur say